I WAS ALONE
Experience is a part of your life. The experience has a lot of stuff. There is a fun, sad, embarrassing and boring. An unforgettable experience that makes us wants to repeat or not. I also have one experience in my life. I can not forget it. That experience really makes me change my character. Here I will tell my experiences.
I was a girl who did not have self-confidence. I was always insecure and shy when I met strangers. My mother would not believe if I could be left or far from my mother. In my family, only had one daughter, she was me. I had two brothers and one younger brother. Nevertheless, I was not a spoiled child. My parents, especially my father never indulged me. They always gave me some advice to get my ideals. How about love? It would follow us.
Like women in the village, when they got teenagers or adults (above 11 years), the parents who was still minded laymen, would marry them with an adult man and a man who had a job. The old man thought that there was no point in a high school for them. Only spend their parents’ money. They would return to the kitchen and took care of their husbands. Therefore woman enough to elementary school only.
Different with my parents, although my mother did not finish elementary school, but my mother’s thought did not like them, life was like a fairy tale ended in marriage. My mother believed the school and the science that could change people's lives to be better expect prayed to Allah, our God. Mother did not wish their children had same life with him or worse than him. Mother wants her children’s life better than him. Money could be searched but about the willingness and the opportunity it represents something that was difficult to obtain. That why after I graduated from elementary school, there was only one woman who continued to junior high school, she was me.
My parents put me in junior high, outside the city. One of the reasons my parents did not want to put me in the schools in our country because the schools in our area was not good quality. But I know the main reason was the mother scared. My mother was afraid I was influenced by those thoughts. Mother was afraid I would drop out of school. Mother was afraid that if I made a relationship with a man who was not good. My mother did not want me failed. My mother wanted me to be better. My mother also wanted to have a different girl with other girls.
I received in one junior high school outside the city. This place was still strange for me. I did not have friends. Nothing people I knew. I came to school with my brother. I felt very scared and embarrassed. I wanted to go home. In there I saw a lot of students talked and laughed together. They looked very enjoy and happy. I really wanted to be like them.
Three-day introductory period had passed. Everything was normal. Nothing exciting. Nothing memorable. Everything was boring. I knew, probably because there was not a senior who I knew before. In addition, my body posture was fat and short, made people not interested to saw me. I did not care about that. I always obeyed the rules that they created. I would not search problems with them. I knew, they would seek and found our mistakes.
Boarding house. This was the most feared my mother. My mother scared, I could not adjust to my new environment. I felt, it was difficult for me. I felt there was something missing from me. I did not hear any more chickens crowing, birds chirping, and the sound of my neighbor’s goats belong me. I also often cried in the bathroom when I missed my mom. The people around me did not matter with my situation. They were busy with their own activities. However I was sure if I could do it.
Learning was a duty. So, I seldom left the house only to wrote or read something that said friends in the boarding house "was not interesting and not important." My record seemed when I was two junior high classes. I got the first rank. When the first class I did not have the courage to spoke like other friends. In fact, I just knew with my classmates only. Nothing else that I knew. This was a great honor for me, a little girl from the village.
When I was in third junior classes. I had one problem. A beautiful girl who I think arrogance (I knew after meeting with him), wanted a room. He wanted to be alone in it. He would pay two times more than from rents a room at this place. There was no empty room there. In one room occupied by two people. Expect my room, I was alone in this room. My boarding house mother advised him to stayed one room with me. He remained still want one room. He did not care how about somebody else.
I was very disappointed with my boarding house’s mother. That night, he gave me two options. I moved from this place or stayed here but three people in a room. Three peoples in a room that size was 3 x 3 m2 and all ours. That was too narrow. Finally I decided to move from this place.
In my new place, my room. This room had size 4 x 4 m2, one window and two doors. I lived with a woman who had worked. I was happy there. There were many trees here and made my room colder.
One night I slept alone because a friend of mine went to the village. I always heard the music before bed. That night was raining. The lamp was off. I went to bed early. Before sleeping I felt afraid without knowing what I feared. I do not care about those feelings. I tried to close my eyes but so difficult to did it. I tried, tried and tried. May be, I slept.
I heard something that was not clear. I opened my eyes. I saw my hand phone. It was at 01.25 a.m. I felt so sleepy. I tried to close my eyes. But, I felt something strange. I opened my eyes, and ... aaaaaa...!!! I screamed. I was shocked. I was panic. I was afraid. A man tried to check in into my room through the window. I ran out through the door near the room my mother's boarding house and the man ran out through other door. We nearly collided. I though the man was surprised when I shouted and heard scream and panic. So he ran away without direction. He did not know what he would do.
All who were in this house woke up. Father’s boarding house chased the man. The man was not caught. But Father’s boarding house knew who the man. He was a man who was abnormal. He often interfered with the girls.
This is my carelessness. I did not look at the window before I slept. And I was so sad about that happened. I promised in my own, I would not make a careless again. I would be carefully at the next.
I often laughed when I remembered what was happening that night. Why was not I thinking to beat him with anything that was near with me. I was looking a fool girl.
Since that incident I did not dare to sleep alone. It all happened because I forgot to lock the window well. I was very sad for this incident. I would be forgot it.
About my education. I believed, there was a want, there was a way. So, I tried to do the best for my life, for my family, for me and others. I think I would not face my problem in my life, but I could. Never though we could do it, but though how we could face it. And we could do it.